For many of us, it is a very difficult expression saying NO to others. And this creates lots of problems for all of us in personal life, office life, and in business too. I don’t know if its our cultural trait to oblige others even when you really don’t wish to. In short, saying NO is difficult for us. At times, we have to pay price for that. Sometimes heavy.
I have seen many who just can’t say NO to anyone for anything. I really do not know the reasons for this otherwise sweet gesture. But it happens. And the worst thing is… next minute you are on the cell telling your friend or mom or colleague…. aare Yaar, I don’t know why I said YES to him/ Oh..sh@@@. I should have said NO but just couldn’t. Not being able to politely express NO… is a weakness of many. And so it is a serious problem. This makes things worst for many especially in offices.
BOSS comes at 6pm, … says, I need this first thing in the morning
This a very common practice by many superiors. They sit upon a job for long time, even many days and weeks and last minute, it comes on your table to get it ready, first thing in the morning. These bosses are not just inefficient but also arrogant. They are involved with many other tasks which are not so important or urgent or sometimes even personal for that matter and at the last minute expect staff to wait late evenings and deliver. If there is a real time emergency once in a while, it is not an issue. But it is never the case. This is the regular practice by these unprofessional, incompetent, and inefficient bosses to come to staff when the time is up. 6 pm. Now for many it is a catch 22 situation. If you say No for sitting late to do the job, you are marked as arrogant, labeled as not faith-full to your job and worst of all being disrespectful to your superiors. Oh God! It is a difficult decision. What do you do?
I recommend… say YES and do it.
YES, you heard me right, say YES to your boss. Do the job and make sure you do it efficiently pushing your limits farther. But with that, also convey to your boss, you need extra help to organise things so that the job could be finished faster. Request to give helping hand of your choice who among staff is more competent. Say “ We can be in time tomorrow for your presentation. With this approach, you will display your professional attitude, company interest at heart and establish in your personal performance records… you consider interest of your company first. Let this go on a official records several times which will help you to build a protective shield around, incase, you are targeted often. Also, in unfair working situations, when it happens every day or every time, your grounds are solid to say NO to your superiors firmly and politely. This is a DIPLOMACY you must learn. And for that, I recommend your past records let alone prove that you are willing to work under pressures and in the interest of the company but not if others do not work in a disciplined and professional manners. This message must be given to superiors in a very diplomatic way. The message : Please do not take me granted. I have also my personal and family life. Please respect that.
Learn the diplomacy
Some people think, saying NO sounds rude. Well, it depends how you say it and how you present your point-of-view. YES, it does sound rude if your tone, your expressions are more of an offensive type. Your wordings in the conversation can be of a wrong choice, giving an opposite person wrong impression, that you are being rude. But you actually don’t mean to be. So, when I say be diplomatic, I mean be “Tactful”.
For example: If my boss is stupid and I know for sure… can I be honest or frank and say…” You are a stupid Man” That is a sure misfire. I will get a boot on my a@@@! Honesty and frankness in such cases are nothing but a stupidity. Being DIPLOMATIC, TACTFULL is a smartness. And I see there is one another angle to this situation also . By saying my boss is stupid… it does not prove I am smart. So A… I must not and should not pass such rude remarks about anyone, and B…I should not take people for granted. Our most of the problems start from this very attitude of taking each other for granted. We do. And that ‘s why we face more problems on personal level, in offices and in businesses. We simply can’t say No and we simply can’t stop asking for unreasonable favours.
We take each other for granted.
This I personally feel is our social problem at large. We keep taking our friends, our employees, our partners, our customers, our families… for granted. We do not respect others freedom, independence and a right to decide for self. Others decide. Whether you like it or not. Whether you agree or not. In majority situations we see this happening and somebody or other getting upset. Well, there are surely better ways to get things done. And many better ways to say NO if you want to say NO.
I don’t Know, what is the right formula for success, but I know the formula for failure. Trying to please everyone in this world. It is not possible. Then what about your own happiness? If you also need to feel happy for what you are doing, you need to make your choices. You must learn to live your life with all the happiness in this world. If you are unable to find that happiness on the job, it defeats the very purpose of working for your lively hood. Working for yourself and Family.
So… learn to say NO. Let others get to know that you too have your own life after eight hours of office work. And it is your personal, private life. You have the right to spend the way you want. Nobody other than you can decide about it. Saying NO tactfully is I think an art and you must learn it if it is going to make your life better. Or else, other’s will keep taking you for granted.
First, I suggest, start practising saying NO firmly to your immediate family members and friends. Try and remain firm about your decision when saying NO. Also, reason it out so nicely with all the honesty that others will happily accept your point-of-view. By practice, you can develop your conversational skills and with a million dollar smile on your face, you can WIN over people, however tough they may sound.
Learn to say NO to make your life happier. If you don’t care about your life…. Who will?
